My new FTC disclaimer

Posted by in Creative Ideas, inspiration | 34 comments

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Here’s my personal take on the new FTC “disclaimers in advertising” laws. In case you weren’t aware, the average or “typical” results must be reported if you report any results at all in advertising. This leaves the window wide open for a whole host of Govt. initiated lawsuits against advertisers in every arena.

For your consideration and comment, here’s my official disclaimer about “typical results” for all of my training, books, courses etc.

“DISCLAIMER:

NONE of the results achieved by me or by any of my students or readers are TYPICAL.

If you consider yourself to be ‘typical’ or ‘average’ then go find a real job or better yet a generous government program and save us all a bunch of wasted time. People that succeed in life possess extraordinary abilities that you DO NOT and WILL PROBABLY NEVER have.

The ability to turn off the TV and read a book occasionally, or the ability to put aside selfish short sited desires in order to pursue larger long term goals makes some of us freakishly superior and you probably don’t have what it takes to join us. So please – just give up now and go eat some ice cream and watch a movie. DO NOT BUY MY PRODUCTS.

You’ve heard it said “results may vary” right? Well, yours won’t. You won’t get ANYTHING from ANY of what I have to offer.

Let me be clear: The average or typical results that anyone can expect from reading ANY of my books or articles or programs is a dead honest ZERO. That’s the average, NO RESULTS.

There is nothing there for you. As far as you know every testimonial about me on the Internet is made up anyway so why bother? How can you possibly trust ANYTHING on the Internet?

If however you would like to actually meet and talk to the people behind those “made up” testimonials you can do so at my open forum membership sites MySilentTeam.com and OfflineBiz.com.  Sadly though – you won’t find any typical people there…only those freakishly superior people that always seem to succeed when you keep failing. Either that or I’m pretending to be all 8,500 people actively using my forums and  I’m having conversations with myself…you decide.

Why are you still reading this? I told you to go watch a movie.”

Since the FTC wants to know the average results that people can expect there it is in black and white. Please post your comment or whiny complaint below.

P.S. If unmarked vans ever pull up to my house and haul me away (and delete this blog) would you please have a copy of this post on hand and post it anonymously in my remembrance?    ;)

  • http://www.simplebusinessidea.com Steve

    Lovin' it Jim, you might add .. "Do not pass go, just move into line for the cash for clunkers, no interest homebuyers loans, cash from the 'stash wealth re-distribution plans"

    Cheers,

    Steve

  • http://www.confessionsofahypnotist.com Jeremy Pope

    Love it as well, Jim. FTC is getting seriously weird about this stuff now.

    If I may make a small suggestion: Add "If you are typical" to the beginning of each paragraph, just for clarity and to indicate that the joke continues. It could come across as a little harsh as-is, and I know you're not harsh.

    Be amazing!

  • http://www.LiebsLanding.com Kristin Lieb

    Loving it! I just put a new item up on Clickbank and had to jump through some extra hoops. I'm happy to jump when it lets me make some money and you are SO right, most folks want the easy way to riches that involves no work what-so-ever…. (If you find it, let me know) Keep up the GREAT motivation.

  • Barb Drewry

    Jim – I'm sorry, but it does seem harsh. Anyone who doesn't already know you may not have an opportunity to discover the amazing person behind the sarcasm. The first time I read it (I think on FB) I was really taken aback. It just didn't seem like you — to me — to be SO sarcastic. Sorry for being hypersensitive, maybe, but I just hadn't seen that side of you before, and I've been reading (and buying) your stuff for several years. Bless you, anyway, though…and I agree that the new laws are ridiculous.

  • http://therealronaldmcdonald.com Ronnie McDonald

    Yikes! I thought we had it bad with the Orwellian government over here! Cheer up guys, maybe when Scotland gets full independence we will follow the lead of the Swiss and make clocks and chocolate, launder the worlds money and possibly become a safe haven for anyone wanting their business dreams to escape from the absurdity of modern government legislation!

    What a dream eh? Why dont these people get a REAL job like counting the grains of sand in a cube of concrete or something? You Rock Jim!

  • Steve 1whytebear

    I am sorry to say; this ruling might, just be the tip of the iceberg, for this goverments legislators and regulators (Czars). Thanks for keeping us well informed. Steve 1whytebear

  • Reg B.

    Hey Jim is this what the business world is coming to. Our first amendment of Free Speech

    is big brother putting his 2 cents… How will small and big company's gain any sales with out getting a true “testimonial”that me as a consumer wants to hear…Next will be told or given products that the goverment wants us to use…Oh yes lost of more jobs too…

  • Cheri

    I love it as well! I agree with Jeremy, that adding "If you are typical…" would clarify that you are being sarcastic.

  • http://www.daisyfuneral.com Teej

    Hi Jim, I agree with Barb. This is fine to joke about but I hope that's not your true disclaimer.

    I don't know you enough, having just sub'd to your newsletter last week.

    I understand the sarcasm, but could and will be largely wasted and turn off future work-hard customers.

    Thanks,

    Teej

  • http://www.daisyfuneral.com Teej

    I meant to add, that from your blog you do seem like a really great person!

  • David

    True, those of us resident outside the U.S. may be at an advantage if we choose to ignore the new FTC rules. But are we really outside FTC jurisdiction?

    I use all U.S. based services for my businesses, hosting, autoresponder, ClickBank, and most of my customers are U.S. based. In that situation it would be good policy for me to comply even though I may not technically be required to.

    Any websites whose activities involve "material conduct within the United States" may come under jurisdiction of the FTC even though the owner is not a U.S. resident.

  • http://www.thirtydaymarketing.com Mike Cowles

    Hey Jim,

    This is Mike Cowles. I appreciate you being willing to step up to the plate and educate everyone about the changes in our industry, whether it's ebays new rules to remove digital sales or the mob's er, ah, ftc's new rules for disclaimers.

    Results are not typical has always been true and always will be true due to human nature. For every 1 person that takes intelligent action 99 will complain, procrastinate or daydream about it.

    Sad but true.

    Keep up the good work.

    ~Mike Cowles.

  • Ed

    I love it, love it, love it! I guess I'm too danged set in my ways, Jim, but I've been the recipient of corporate decisions for too many years that were obviously made in rooms with very low oxygen content, so this really doesn't surprise me. This is after all coming from THE CORPORATION. But, having had our say, we'll find the appropriate mix of words that will satisfy those who would protect even us from those who exist only to abuse and extort.

  • Duke Snyder

    Took awhile but poster's finally nailed the real subject…First Amendment.

    Deductive reasoning "normally and usually" provides that as the true sum total of beauracratic mandates wherein "wolves in sheeps clothing" protect us "average" people from ourselves.

    Continued intrusions upon your rights may find you still being allowed to enjoy cabbage but a federal watchdog from the USDA will determine whether red or green cabbage is best for you!

    To the new subscriber bemoaning sarcasm on this issue I remind again that "the salvation of the state lies in the watchfulness of its citizenry."

  • Dave Theman

    Great Jim – as I am sure you already know, Marlin Sanders has always used similar disclaimers for his products and he has been successful for many years. I believe this FTC BS is a direct result of the anti-business climate supported by the present administration. They believe we can (should) all work for some form of government – and, yes, they WILL tell us what products to use and buy. That's my take on it!

  • Jim

    Jim, very interesting…I would like to comment further but my ice cream is beginning to melt and the movie is about to start…

    [reply from Jim]: Ahhh…the sweet response of someone that understands how to blend truth with humor…

  • David Card

    Jim

    Great sarcasm, and humorous. How can you get this message to the offline world, they need to stop living with they're eyes wide shut.

    There is going to be more to come from big brother, or Mother, I call it. Soon well all have to wear bicycle helmets and knee pads to protect us from ourselves and the wolves. Then we'll have pay taxes for the right to wear them.

    Keep up the good works. Thanks for all of the above average(Do I need a disclaimer here?)information and products. DC

  • http://baldman.net Tim

    I love it!

    What a sad excuse our nation has become. And yet we still have huddled masses coming here. Man it must be even more suckish to live elsewhere.

    We want guarantees and we want our mighty, pretentious, arrogant leaders to make sure that our attorneys have lots of stuff to do.

    Let's hear it for the increase of out of control lawsuits, and a country of victims.

    Seller beware!!!

  • http://www.patrick-clarke.co.uk Patrick Clarke

    Thanks for all this guidance. I'm UK based but will be incorporating a version of Mike Young's disclaimer into all my sites as it has universal relevance. I largely agree with all the sentiments expressed on this page. Many thanks for giving prominence to this important issue.

  • http://www.icantbebothered.usa Robert J McGraw

    It's about time that this has happened. I never bother to read testimonials from people listed without a last name. I once was in an infomercial and my first name and city were said on tv so I got calls and was asked if the product worked. I said it worked for me but didn't know if it would work for them and they should buy it and try it since there was a money back guarantee

  • http://www.junerecommends.com June

    Tip of the iceberg is right. There are so many huge gaping loopholes, the FTC will be able to make up any rule they want as this thing moves forward. I see many frivolous law suits on the horizon that will probably be enacted by the same scammers that have forced the FTC's hand in the first place. Unfortunately the government again is removing the rights of people to actually think for themselves and trying to force us square pegs into another round hole of dung.

  • http://www.SterlingQualityStore.com Donna Platt

    Jim,

    I love it and hope you will keep up the great work you are doing. I agree with the writer who suggested that you include,"If you are typical…" just for those who can't quite figure it all out. Yours is the ONLY newsletter that I read consistently. I know I'll get the unvarnished truth. Thanks

  • Ralph Latta

    GREAT, GREAT, GREAT!

    If you dont give them anything to grab on to:

    They dont have anything to grab on to.

    The world is a funny place if you just look.

    Now if those 20 page websites would just

    learn to LAUGH…

  • Carolyn

    Very interesting twist for the disclaimer.

    Frankly, I love it with minor changes.

    I work in health care – Our fears are being realized before our eyes.

    This FTC thing is, in my opinion the tip of the "S" word, none the less the iceberg. Seems Obamacare is creeping into every aspect of our lives. The government got involved in our regulation back in 1988. I am a cytotechnologist in my other life.

    In a "S" society, we are ALL to be average and equal! So the "average result' is very telling for me!

    I wanted to get out of the Hospital and go back to having my own business again…now FTC! (I'm just whining. It will be better than the hospital, even with the rules yet to come!)

    Thanks for being there for us!

  • Wuckie

    I never saw an FTC,

    I never hoped to see one.

    But from the regs we get from them,

    I'm sure that there CAN'T be one!

    I never heard of FTC,

    I never hope to hear one.

    To fathom laws they give to us,

    I'll need MUCH more than beer one!

  • http://MaggNetMarketing.c Mike Maggs

    Jim,

    Love the sarcasm, but then again, that's just me. Seriously though, this is just the tip of the iceberg with these elitist, arrogant clowns in this Administration…none of whom have ever produced anything of value other than legislation and directives to try and control the citizenry. If this sounds conspiratorial, then so be it.

  • http://2ultra.com William

    Howdy Jim,

    That was great! I love the disclaimer.
    Now can we stick up our middle finger at the gov regs?

    I mean come on, Citezens of the U.S. of A aren’t ignorant. It is our Government that is ignorant.

    I sell on ebay, half and go door to door selling Avon. the next thing you know I will have to introduce myself at someones front door and say everything you mention in your post then offer them a brochure.

    How ridiculace is that!

    I think that we need Jim Cockrum as president
    while we still are home of the brave and FREE

  • Joe Emmet

    AMEN!

  • Tamiseo

    Jim, as you know, I am one of your rabid fans! I am REAL, so I really like what you offer. I have tried the techniques and tools that you and Andrew C. have provided. I like your take on the new FTC rules. I never really understood how different I was really was from the average person. This is something that is built in that is needed for success. I have been on this path for 34 years (from my first job) until now (self employed social media and internet marketing consultant.) I appreciate your candor and I will continue to tell everyone they should become an offline biz member. Very valuable. Offline Biz has helped me become a full-tiime self employed person. Now, how cool is that? Thanks, Tami Patzer

    • http://www.JimCockrum.com/ Jim Cockrum

      You are awesome Tami – thanks for the feedback. See you on the OfflineBiz.com forums!

  • Eckelberger

    very direct and profound.  do you really think they are able to understand, use used some very big words. I think you should repost and make it simple so they can grasp it.

    • http://www.JimCockrum.com/ Jim Cockrum

      do you mean the FTC or my (potential) customers that I’ve just scared away…not sure I want either of them to “get it”. ;0)

  • TomJCurtis

    I can’t stop laughing at this! Way to go Jim. I swear I wrote that disclaimer. It’s exactly what I would say. I have about a pinch of empathy for people who waste their God-given talents. Everyone has them too. It’s just a matter of finding that special genius inside and making it go. I believe we have conflict in this world because not enough people are tapping into that higher nature that they possess. There’s just not enough ‘GO’ out there. Too many people stuck in the muck. Let’s go ge them!

    • http://www.JimCockrum.com/ Jim Cockrum

      right on! Thanks Tom.